Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
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Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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