Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
