Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
