You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
