Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
