at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
