I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
