I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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