I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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