Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
