I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
