Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
