She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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