You really coming over, don't trick.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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