Will you blow on my dice?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize