i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize