If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
