Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
