Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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