oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize