just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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