Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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