how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
