Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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