He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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