I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
