3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
vagina is talking i cant
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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