Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
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Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
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my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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