do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
