Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
