We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
only you would photoshop your dick
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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