Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
