The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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