im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
