"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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