update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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