your parents love me but you hate me
You're my little dorito
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize