Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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