Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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