I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
