I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.