I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings