You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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