A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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