sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
