just come out here and I will go home with you...
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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