i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
