Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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