he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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