im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
