i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
