That's intense
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
did you just send me my own nude
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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