I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am one with the molecules
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
