a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
