But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
