What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I could make wine with my vomit
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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