Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
