Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
