I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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