Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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