You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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